Episode 56: Matt Abrahams: Frameworks for Strategic Communication
About Matt Abrahams:
Today on The One Percent Project, I am speaking to Matt Abrahams. Matt teaches organizational behaviour and strategic communication at Stanford. He is the author of the excellent book Speaking Up without Freaking Out and host of the Stanford GSB podcast ‘Think Fast Talk Smart’. Matt is a passionate, collaborative, and innovative educator and coach. He has published widely on strategic communication, cognitive planning, persuasion, and interpersonal communication. Prior to teaching, Matt held senior leadership positions in several leading software companies, where he created and ran global learning and development teams. Matt has worked with executives to help prepare and present keynote addresses and IPO road shows, conduct media interviews, and deliver TED talks.
Strategic communication can alter people, teams, and organisations. One who recognises the value of communication realises the importance of honing personal and the team's communication skills. Good communicative skills increase employability, morale, engagement, and productivity, along with improved teamwork. Effective workplace communication contributes to improved performance of individuals, teams, and organisations. But the question remains, how does one achieve effective communication? Matt helps people find that answer. In this engaging conversation with Matt, he talks about strategic communication, who is an effective communicator, the communication styles of Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Warren Buffet, his favourite communicators, the role of confidence in effective communication and much more.
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Key Highlights:
Counterintuitive insights on Communication:
First, communication is not about you but your audience. Many people think about it as what we need to communicate, but communication is more about what our audience needs to hear. Second, listening is very crucial to effective communication. Listening, understanding, and validating allows one to be a better communicator.
Attributes of an effective communicator:
Communicators who can accomplish their goal of getting across the information, eliciting the desirable emotions, and creating an impact where the audience is motivated to take certain actions are effective communicators. Everything else, such as fluent articulation and graceful presentation, are secondary.
Why teaching strategic communication is difficult:
Communication being a deeply personal attribute demands from people a development of their own unique style. It is challenging because it requires a willingness to try new things and risk making mistakes. There are some foundational principles that are applied in strategic communication, but honing an individual style can be challenging, making strategic communication a difficult subject to get across.
Role of storytelling in communication:
Humans tend to retain lessons from anecdotes or episodes of their lives. They have what has been now termed episodic memory. The brain has a propensity to remember things as stories, as episodes. Here is where communicating thoughts and ideas through good stories become important. A lot of research has shown that human beings are not good at remembering and getting motivated by slides and bullet points alone. Stories have proven to effectively carry the message across audiences, compared to bullet points and slides.
On Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Warren Buffet:
The remarkable achievement of Amazon is the scrapping of conventional presentations and implementing 6-page memos to make meetings efficient and effective. Elon Musk is good at getting people focused and talking about his content. As a communicator, he has created an impact and got people to discuss his message. He carries it out by being provocative and assertive, which works in his favour. Warren Buffet is a huge proponent of communication. He believes in the power of communication and the importance of it for leaders and for society, and his passion for that is remarkable. He represents the Omahaian sensibility: the no-nonsense, call it as you see it style of communication.
Importance of managing anxiety and ways to manage anxiety:
Most people experience anxiety pertaining to public speaking. It has biological, social, and emotional factors for its contributors. Communicators should not pressure themselves on the pretext of doing things perfectly. Additional pressure to the natural anxiety exacerbates it further in spontaneous set-ups, but that can be easily managed with a few techniques. While practice in deep breathing helps overcome anxiety, a structure to the presentation in the form of ‘problem- solution- benefit’ or ‘comparison- contrast- conclusion’ can help. Having these structures in mind can provide a road map and help people deliver good presentations.
Importance of communication for founders:
It’s all about people, processes, and systems. Founders need to think about their communication ability because it is critical to funders. Four phrases that every entrepreneur and founder should be able to finish are: ‘what if you could?’ ‘so that?’ ‘for example,’ and ‘that’s not all.’ This allows founders to talk about what’s possible and what’s potential beyond the ordinary. Every founder should be able to tell their founding story and elevator pitch using these four phrases.
Importance of confidence in effective communication:
Confidence is having the mindset and the skills to meet the moment you find yourself in. Confidence can come from trial and error, practice, learning, studying, and coaching. It’s a magic recipe of those things. And there’s no one path to confidence.
The power of introversion:
Introverts have the power of reflection, which they can utilize to reach desired goals. It can prove effective for an organization’s long-term success.
In this conversation, he talks about:
00:00 Intro
02:42 Counterintuitive insights about strategic communication?
03:37 How is an effective communicator?
04:22 What excites him about teaching?
05:40 Is it hard to teach strategic communication?
07:52 The role of storytelling communication?
09:44 The communication style of Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Warren Buffet.
12:41 When you need to speak spontaneously, how do you manage your anxiety?
15:54 How can founders have an effective communication strategy and storytelling framework?
19:32 The impact of martial arts in Matt's strategic communication.
21:53 The importance of the environment in effective communication.
23:12 Communicators Matt appreciates.
24:43 The importance of confidence in effective communication.
26:23 What is an introvert's strength in communication?
27:20 The nicest thing someone has done for Matt.
Transcript:
Pritish: Welcome, Matt, to The One Percent Project.
Matt: Thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited to have our conversation today.
Pritish: What is your counter-intuitive insight about communication?
Matt: Let me think here! I have two: first is that communication is not about you; it’s about your audience. Many of us think about it as what we want to get across and what we need to communicate, but communication is more about what your audience needs to hear. So many of us think here is everything I need to say. Instead, it should be here are all the things my audience needs to hear from me. Second, listening is very crucial to effective communication. Listening, understanding, and validating allows you to be a better communicator.
Pritish: How would you define an effective communicator?
Matt: All important communication requires a goal, and a goal to me has three parts: information, emotion, and action. So, it’s what do I wanna get across? That’s what I want you to know. How do I want you to feel? And, in many cases, what do I want you to do? The way to assess effectiveness is against that goal. The goal serves as the criteria by which you can evaluate your communication. Now, you can look at other aspects as well: is it delivered fluently? Is it delivered with impact? Is it delivered in a way that is artful and graceful? But it boils down to achieving your goal. That’s what effective communication, to me, is all about.
Pritish: You’ve taught effective communication for many years now…
Matt: Be careful. You’re gonna say I’m old now, aren’t you?
Pritish: I’m gonna say you’re experienced.
Matt: Okay, yes. I have a fair amount of experience doing this. That’s a nice way to put it. Thank you.
Pritish: So my question is, what excites you when you walk into a class?
Matt: Thank you for that question because I get that question a lot. It’s usually phrased a little more pointedly than yours. People are like, how can you keep doing the same thing over every can? I am just so passionate about communication, and I have seen so many people that I’ve taught, that I have coached, that have listened to the podcast, who have blossomed and have found ways to communicate better. They have told me that they have these ideas and just struggled to get out because they were nervous or didn’t know how to structure them. For me, that’s the reward that it is helping people find ways to communicate. So, what motivates and excites me is that I love it. And there’s nothing like starting a new class. It’s like starting a new relationship, right? It’s wonderful, it’s exciting. Seeing people grow and change throughout the class is also exciting as well. So, I love it, and I don’t get tired of it. I have been doing this for decades, and I still enjoy doing it, and it’s because of the power I believe that communication affords people.
Pritish: Communication is such a personal attribute. Is it hard to teach strategic communication?
Matt: In terms of strategic communication, I think some general principles are pretty applicable regardless, so that part isn’t so hard. What's more difficult is helping people hone their own style. Learning the fundamentals takes effort, takes practice. It’s like learning a sport or a musical instrument, but, the flourished personal style can be challenging because to develop a style, you have to be willing to try new things and risk making a mistake or not doing as well as you could but, in that adventure, comes out some great things. So if there’s anything hard about teaching communication, it’s helping people find their own unique style because you have to have a person you’re working with who’s willing to take risks and try new things and people wary on that. So strategic communication is not as hard just because there are some foundational principles that make sense. It’s the individual style that can be challenging.
Pritish: In my personal endeavour, in doing this podcast, I have now spoken to 50+ more individuals, and everybody had such different communication styles. You have one, I spoke to Jeremy earlier, and he has a very different vibe. So it's one that you keep practicing. The other one is that every time you speak to somebody new, you need to assess their communication and what they are more comfortable with, the way they would like to communicate, and this is across cultures, right? their cultural nuances in communication as well…
Matt: Absolutely, so that’s a whole different subject. Culture, societal norms, and expectations based on age and gender. Yes absolutely. That absolutely influences communication. But you are right; everybody has a different style. And first, congratulations on interviewing so many people. I have interviewed more than you, but I think I’ve been doing it slightly longer than you. But you're right. You have to adjust and adapt. Part of what excites me about communication is that it’s part science and part art in that adjusting and adapting the art side of it, and you’re right. And again, going back to what we discussed at the beginning, it involves listening, it involves putting the other person as equal or even more important. And that’s what can help you as you develop your communication for sure.
Pritish: You talked about having a goal of understanding your audience and what they are looking for and listening to them. What role does storytelling play in communication?
Matt: Storytelling plays an incredibly important role in communication. It is the way in which we can connect and engage with our audience. It’s a way to become memorable and is built into our DNA. Human beings are designed for stories. We gravitate toward stories, we remember stories better, and we get energized by stories more. The opposite is slides and bullet points. And we have a lot of research to show that we are not good at remembering and getting motivated by just slides and bullet points alone. I’ve been very fortunate to interview many neuroscientists who study this. The brain is wired for stories. In fact, I interviewed a gentleman, a neuroscientist named David Eagleman, and he used this great analogy to talk about how our brains are ready for stories. If you remember what I called the first episode of Star Wars, it’s the one that first came out. I’m old enough to remember 1978, the first one; it's now, I think, number 4 in the sequence of these stories. But in it, Luke Skywalker is flying into the death star down this channel, and he launches some kind of torpedo that goes into this porthole and destroys the death star. And David Eagleman says, “stories are like that torpedo. when they hit the brain, they go in, and the brain explodes in terms of connection, ideas, and energy.” We call it episodic memory: episodic means episodes. Our brain is wired to remember things as stories, as episodes. I hope you got my point. The story is important, and being able to tell good stories is important, especially if you're a leader and trying to communicate strategically.
Pritish: I would like you to give some insights on some of these leaders who we in the present world probably consume a lot of content in communication from, and what do you think about their communication style? Start with Jeff Bezos.
Matt: I tend to refrain from specifically commenting on people. The thing about Jeff Bezos and Amazon that I am most impressed by is they got rid of slides. They don’t do internal slide presentations or create documents, typically five- or six-page documents. At the beginning of every meeting, people come together, have quiet time with all readers and get aligned, and then have a discussion, and I think that’s a really powerful alternative to how most people do it. But we’re also busy making the assumption that everybody has read the material in advance. I think it's foolish because we all know people don’t or if they do this, some people read it in depth and others don’t. So to allow time and to have your meetings, presentations, and pitches predicated on writing first, I think it gives you a little bit more structure in detail, which we know is helpful. So when I think of Jeff Bezos, I think mostly about the creativity and willingness to experiment to help it would make meetings more efficient and effective. So that’s the big thing that comes to mind when I think.
Pritish: The next one could be Tesla.
Matt: So Elon Musk. A lot can be said about Elon Musk in his communication. What do I think of Elon Musk? I think one thing that is very true is that he’s very good at getting people focused and talking about his content. If you are a communicator and want to have an impact, you want people to think about your message and talk about your message; I think he does that very well. Now he does it by being provocative, he does that by being assertive, and those things work for him. Would I recommend that to everybody? No. But definitely, those are tools to help get people focusing on your message and talking about it. So he does that well. Do I agree with everything he says? Certainly not. But in terms of his communication, he’s good at doing that.
Pritish: The last one would be, I would like to know what you think about Warren Buffett or Charlie Munger.
Matt: When I think about Warren Buffett, I think about the fact that he is a huge proponent of communication. He believes in the power of communication and the importance of it for leaders and for society, and I respect that because I believe the same thing. He has a much louder microphone than I do, so when he says it, it's really important. I have a great connection to Omaha, where he is from. My wife's family is from that area, and he represents that sensibility: their no-nonsense call it as you see it, a subtle communication, and I appreciate that. There’s a reason people, at least in the United States, find those from the mid-west to be very friendly and very empathic, and I think he exhibits some of those. But mostly, when I think of Warren Buffett, I just think of his passion for being a spokesperson for the value of communication.
Pritish: There is more spontaneous speaking than planned speaking in our day-to-day lives. So when I’m called on the spot, how do I not freak out when I need to speak up?
Matt: Yeah, you brought up two topics there. So managing anxiety in communication, regardless if it’s planned communication or spontaneous communication, is really important. It is the number one barrier in my mind to effective communication, and there are many things we can do to manage that. I’ve spent a lot of my career helping people through the book I’ve written as well as the podcast and other means, and it boils down to two things you have to manage: symptoms and sources. The symptoms are the things you physically and mentally experience and the sources are things that exacerbate them. I’m happy to give more examples of that if you’re interested. In spontaneous speaking, you have the added pressure of having to do it immediately, in the moment, in an unprepared way. Hence, many techniques you can use to manage anxiety in planned speaking serve you well in spontaneous speaking. But we have to also, in spontaneous speaking, I believe, do a few extra steps, one of which is getting out of our way. We put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves to do it right, whatever the right is, making us more nervous. Anxiety and speaking in front of others are ubiquitous. I believe it’s part of our biology, and we add additional pressure to that natural anxiety when we’re spontaneous. So it’s just a more acute form of what I think generically happens to most people.
Pritish: Any techniques where we can calm our anxiety while we’re in such a situation?
Matt: I wrote a book that covers fifty verified techniques. Let me highlight a few. Perhaps the most important thing we can do for our physiological experience of anxiety is deep breathing. If anybody has ever done Yoga or Taichi, this deep belly breathing is really important and what’s super important about breathing is the exhale. It’s not so much the inhale. It’s the exhale where a lot of goodness and relaxation happens. So taking a deep low, slow breath and then making your exhale twice as long, so if I take a three-count in, I take a six-count out. Doing that a few times could calm down that autonomic nervous system response. So number one is deep breathing. Having a knowledge of your content or a path to communicate your content, so having a structure can also really help. In a planned presentation, you can think through the best structure. Is it problem- solution- benefit? Comparison- contrast- conclusion? Having these structures in mind can help because they provide a road map. Many of us fear getting lost; what happens if I blank out? If you have a map, it’s hard to get lost. The structure also helps you in spontaneous situations. You might not know what you’re going to put in your structure, but if you know that you’re gonna answer the question by giving an answer, an example, and explaining why it’s important, that helps you get through that answering process. So to me, deep breaths and having a structure are among the top things you can do to help your audience and help yourself be less nervous.
Pritish: If you can throw some light on founders, as they have to constantly communicate with investors, the board, the employees, work through sales, and so on and so forth. Any advice specifically for young founders or startup companies in the initial growth stage?
Matt: So I have two things that come to mind. First is to think about your communication approach. As companies grow, it is easy to take communication as a necessary evil without actually building an infrastructure around communication. And what do I mean by that? So it’s about people, processes, and systems. So when you’re hiring people, think about their ability to communicate. As a small startup, a small group of founders, and a few others, your ability to communicate internally is critical to funders, potential clients, and potential partners as you grow to potential employees. You have to be able to communicate well. And that’s why so much of my work is committed to entrepreneurs. So thinking about as I hire, as I grow, the ability of people to communicate is number one. Number two, what kind of processes do I want to put in place to support communication? For example, at the end of meetings, do I spend 30 seconds just commenting and asking others to comment on the quality of the communication, not what we already said but just how did this go? So I might say it was really helpful when you summarized what was said or, you know, when you interrupted the other person, we lost the track we were on. That way, people get better and learn to think about it. And then there are certain systems and tools you need to put in place. As an employee in a company today, think about how many different modes you can communicate by. Maybe you have Slack; maybe you have text messaging; maybe you have calls and emails. There are so many modalities to communicate by. Think about what’s the best way to do it. Are there certain times you go to Slack? Sometimes you phone call somebody. So putting the people, the process, and the systems in place matters. The other part that I always say with founders is that if you’re trying to sell your company, you need to articulate what you do very efficiently. And I have four phrases that I think every entrepreneur, every founder, should be able to finish. So first, start; you should be able to answer each phrase. So I have starters, and then you have to finish it. So the first is, what if you could? I think every founder should be able to finish this. What if you could build a faster this or save money doing that? What if you could? Because that puts us as listeners into the future. We say, oh, that’s great. That’s possible. Second is so that? So this drives the value proposition. What if you could help reduce the amount of carbon emissions of motor vehicles so that we can save the climate and money? The third is, for example, you give an example of a particular use case or a particular client using your technology, so you make it real. So what if you could? So that, for example. And then the last part, the last phrase at the end, that’s not all. And this allows you to talk about what’s possible and what’s potential beyond what you’ve already talked about. So I believe every founder should be able to tell their founding story and elevator pitch by using those four phrases: what if you could? So that, for example, and that’s not all. And if you put those together, you have quite a compelling story.
Pritish: That’s a brilliant framework. I’ll probably take a step back and associate this with something you have now mastered: the role of martial arts in your life and what kind of frameworks you have taken from martial arts into strategic communication.
Matt: I’m laughing because the thought of mastering it is so foreign to me because I’ve been studying martial arts for forty years, four decades, and the more I study, the more I realize I don’t know. If mastery is defined as understanding what you don’t know, then I am an expert, I’m a master; otherwise, there’s no mastery involved. Now martial arts have taught me a tremendous amount. Thank you for bringing that up because I don’t talk about this much. The martial arts tell you a lot of things about communication. They tell you to be very aware and cognizant of your opponent, the other person, in other words, your audience. In a martial situation, the opponent is somebody trying to harm you. In a speaking situation, I hope that’s not the case, but there’s an awareness that you have to have, and that awareness is a full body. It’s not just their thoughts and ideas but how they are showing up. Are they showing up open, or are they showing up close? So one is awareness of your audience. The other part of martial arts that has been very helpful to me is in martial arts you get feedback very quickly, and sometimes it hurts, but you learn from them. Many of us when you think about communication, a lot of us treat our communication like that definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. That’s how people communicate. As a coach and teacher, I will talk to people and ask why they did that because I’ve always done it that way. Maybe that’s not the right way, so we have to take time to reflect. The martial arts have made me very sensitive to feedback, literally and philosophically. And the martial arts have been very humbling. I have learned there is always somebody better and a better way to do something. Striving for better is good but not for the best; you know, the goal is not to be the best; the goal is just to get better, and that mindset has helped me. And the other thing you asked about frameworks. In martial arts, there are a lot of forms, what they call kata, ways of moving, and in some ways, that’s true for communication too. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end. There’s a logical connection between movements in martial arts, a logical connection between ideas and a message. So to me, martial arts have always been a metaphor for communication and for my life, and that’s why I spend a lot of time doing both.
Pritish: Connected to that, how much does the environment in which you are you are communicating, is a part of your communication?
Matt: Environment, context, culture all of those are important variables. The fact that you and I are speaking remotely, some miles from each other, this modality influences how we communicate. There are things I can do virtually with you; simultaneously, you and I could exchange a chat in real-time while we’re doing this, but we can’t do that if we are in person. But it also is right; I’m not in the room feeling your movements seeing what you’re doing any below your mid-chest, right? I only see your head. So the environment influences us greatly, and we must consider that. One of the things that people make the mistake of doing is they’ll practice their presentation. Let’s say they have a big pitch or a big presentation, they practice in their living room, or they’ll practice in their office, and then they go and deliver the pitch in a different environment. And it feels different. It feels weird. So practice as best you can in an environment that simulates where you’ll be delivering the content, and think about what it will be like to be in a room of 20 people versus a room of empty chairs when you’re practicing. So the environment can be very influential. And we need to think about it. If the environment changes, maybe you have to change some of the things you do. But just asking the question, I think, is valuable, how does the environment influence what I said for sure?
Pritish: A question I have picked up from your podcast is which communicators do you appreciate the most?
Matt: There are so many. So I’ll share one that I used to say, and it’s still very true, very influential, and then there’s somebody I’m excited about more recently. Very tragically here in the United States, several years ago, there was a mass shooting in Parkland, Florida. A horrific, just absolutely horrific, terrible situation, and it was at a high school. Several students mobilized and became very vocal about guns and gun violence. What amazed me was the eloquence of these high school students without professional training, PR, or media skills. Yet, they were able to articulate passion in a way that resonated. I was impressed, you know. As somebody who works hard to coach people, to see people uncoached deliver so well was fascinating. More recently, I’ve been enamoured with a speaker. Her name is Brittany Packnett Link. Brittany is a young woman, and she focuses on confidence. I focus on confidence too, but in a very narrow domain of communication confidence. She talks about confidence in a much broader way, and I love her ideas and how she delivers them. She does so confidently, and she does so passionately. She does so in a way that’s memorable. Those are the first two people or groups of people that come to mind when I think of really impressive speakers.
Pritish: You brought up confidence. Where does confidence come from? What is your definition of confidence?
Matt: Confidence is having the mindset and the skills to meet the moment you find yourself in. So you have to have some skills. We’ve all seen people who are overconfident. That’s where their mindset exceeds their ability. So to me, it's that sweet balance of having the right mindset, I can do this, this is something within my ability and the skills to back that up. So that, to me, is what confidence is all about. How does one develop confidence? It depends. I believe that there is some measure of biology in this. I think some people are more extroverted and willing to take risks and, as a result, get rewarded for that and then come to develop confidence. Confidence can come from trial and error, practice, learning, studying, and coaching. It’s a magic recipe of those things. And I don’t think there’s one path to confidence. I know there isn’t one path to confidence. And confidence, once you have, it doesn’t mean you always have it. There is several people I work with who were very confident at one point based on their position or career and now are less confident. Going into the pandemic, when we all went virtual, people who are comfortable and confident communicators in person panicked about this virtual thing, and now they are coming out of it somehow. The reverse is true people are like I got so comfortable presenting virtually now; how do I do this in person thing again? So confidence is not like this thing that once you have it, you’ll always have it. It can wax and wane, and we have to work on it.
Pritish: You talked about extroverts and introverts. What is the upper hand an introvert has in communication over an extrovert?
Matt: Reflection. Reflection and the ability to listen. Absolutely. I have many friends who are inverted, and my wife is certainly more introverted than I am. The power of reflection and listening comes with introversion, which is comfortable and helpful; we need people to do that. If we lived only in a world of extroverts, we would be in big trouble. So there is a power in that.
Susan Cain Link has written an amazing book on the power of introversion. In many cases, people are rewarded for extroverted behaviours, the person who speaks up at the meeting, the person who is willing to go first. But often, if you are looking for success, long-term success, introverted skills are the ones that get you there.
Pritish: And before we close, what’s the nicest thing anybody has ever done for you?
Matt: This is such a wonderful question, and I could answer it in many ways, but I think I’ll end the way we started. Your very first question was, “What’s a counter-intuitive insight about communication?” I think the nicest thing anybody has ever done, and it’s not just at one time, it’s been done many times, is to listen, to take the time to really listen. We typically don’t listen well, but to have somebody to stop, connect with you, to be present and listen and then reflect back on what they’ve heard what you said is a true gift. I can think about really significant points in my life where perhaps I was very excited and happy or the opposite, very sad and troubled, when people take the time to listen to, that to me is a gift that is very precious. That’s probably the nicest thing anybody has done, and I can name many family, friends, and co-workers who have done that for me, but listening is important.
Pritish: Brilliant! Matt that’s a great place to close the converation. Thank you for being on the show.
Matt: Thank you so much for this opportunity. You’re doing great work.
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